Tyler Durden Chicken

This recipe is from All Bower Power. It's called Tyler Durden Chicken because in their version, they make it super spicy. My version is less spicy, and kind of changes every time I make it.

Let's start off with this:

Normally, I would never be suckered into a product packaged in individualized portions. Why not just buy generic store-brand chicken breasts, then wrap them in plastic wrap myself? But this was on sale, you guys! And it was calling out to me and me single-mouth household. This is a serious issue around here, because when you are only feeding one person, you have to go through ingredients before they spoil. So while something could serve a family of four or five for one meal, at my house it means having the same thing for lunch and dinner every day for a week. With this 'perfect portions' chicken, I can pull out just one serving to defrost at a time, and the rest can stay frozen for weeks. Also it was on sale. Did I mention that already?

Back to Tyler Durden Chicken:

Ingredients
Chicken
Butter
Seasoning
Garlic (real or powdered)
Cayenne/Red Pepper/Chili Powder/What have you
Orange Juice

Directions

1. Toss some butter in a pan and get it going. Meanwhile, chop up your chicken into bite size pieces.

2. Add your chicken to the pan. I like to add my seasonings at this juncture - salt, pepper, chicken seasoning, garlic powder, cayenne, or whatever you like.

3. After the chicken cooks for a minute or so, pour in the OJ. I pour about 2/3rds of the way up the chicken.

4. Cook that sucker on medium high. Stir it occasionally.
5. Let the orange juice cook down until it's nice and goopey. This may take awhile. If you are impatient, start with orange juice concentrate instead of regular orange juice. I've found a good balance is partially watered-down concentrate, but either way will work. You're good to go when it looks like this:

You can serve it with rice, or a salad, or you can be lazy like me and eat it alone. Enjoy!

Candy Cane Cookies

It's that time of year - time for Christmas cookies.

My family doesn't really have any family recipes, but this is one of the few. My mom made these cookies with her family when she was a kid, and then made them with my brothers and me when we were kids. And here's where the cookies become infamous: one year, my youngest brother Jeff got a bit overzealous with the raw cookie dough. Let's just say the now, years later, he still gets a bit green around the gills when he smells almond extract. I still love them, though. They're easy to make, pretty to look at, and mildly sweet. Why we use almond extract and not peppermint I don't know, but trust me, they taste delicious.

Ingredients

1 c. shortening

1 c. sifted confectioner's sugar

1 egg

1 ½  tsp almond extract

1 tsp vanilla

2 ½ cups flour

1 tsp salt

Red food coloring

Directions

1. Mix together your wet ingredients - shortening, egg, vanilla, almond, and sugar. I recommend an extra-large egg, because the dough can be a bit dry. 

2.  Sift in the flour and salt.

If your dough is a little crumbly, you can mix in a smidge of water. You want your dough to have the consistency of playdough. I added water because mine came out like this:

3. Once your dough is mixed, remove half and place in plastic wrap in the fridge (make a giant dough ball). Take your remaining half and add red food dye until you get a nice pink color. Put this in plastic in the fridge as well.

4. Clean up the red food dye you invariably got all over your hands, counter, and the cat.

5. After at least one hour or overnight, break out your dough balls (heh).

6. Roll out some 'worms' the thickness of your pinky.

7. Twist them together, the roll a bit to get them joined.

Then place on a cookie sheet and shape like a candy cane.

7a. Alternate method - the marble. Roll two pieces of dough into a ball, then roll into your worm shape.

8. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

9. Bake at 375 degrees for 9-12 minutes. These cookies don't really puff, so you can place them fairly close to each other on your cookie sheet. They also don't brown too much, and will come out looking pretty much how they looked when you put them in.

Yields about 4 dozen. Last approx. 4 hours until they're hoovered.

Easy As Chicken Pie

Here's a great throw-it-together recipe that I came up with. I even entered it into a recipe contest. A few of the commenters there despaired that it was 'not cooking' and that 'you might as well just buy a frozen chicken pot pie from the supermarket and call it a day.' But then others chimed in that they appreciated the easiness of the recipe, and while it may not be health food, it's damned delicious!

Ingredients
1 deli rotisserie chicken
1 can condensed chicken soup
1 can condensed potato soup
1 bag frozen vegetables (optional)
1 can refrigerated biscuits or puff pastry or pie shell

Directions
1. Shred the chicken from the deli and place into pie pan. Save the carcass for stock and make chicken stock!
2. Combine both cans of soup with one cup of milk or water, then pour over chicken. If you want to add thawed frozen vegetables, go for it.
3. Place biscuit dough/puff pastry on top of the pie mixture.
4. Bake until the biscuits/puff pastry are ready (about 20 minutes at 375 degrees)
5. Eat!